Sunday, March 22, 2009

Strength in Weakness

God provides for all of our needs, in ways we don't, and can't, understand sometimes. Sometimes the situation is out of our control, and we only have Him to lean on. This is a true test of faith. This is particularly true of decisions involving children, especially the unborn. This morning I had to take my wife to the hospital at 28 weeks gestation due to preterm labor. As a result, we had to have an emergency c-section to deliver the baby for the good of both mother and child. This is very nerve-wracking and places us with the many unknowns and possible outcomes. In the old days, even as soon as a hundred years ago, this would have been a death knell for at least the child. While our technology is a marvel, and the statistics are good, being that early is always very concerning. It will be at least 72 hours for the immediate "out of the woods", 6 weeks before he can come home, and at least a year of monitoring him to ensure he is healthy. There will be likely repercussions throughout his life.

Because of the weight of these decisions, and the outcome being entirely out of my hands, I was, for all intensive purposes, weak in flesh and mind. There was nothing I could do, and I was helpless. So I prayed. Hard. I learned that to truly pray "not my will but thine be done" is one of the most final, hard things one can do. The sensation to me was similar to the crack of the rifles at a veteran's funeral- complete inability to effect a change, and the total reliance on God. This is the core of faith. This was a situation that takes you beyond your limits, to effect the good of God. Christ's prayers on Gethsemane ran through my mind as I prayed. There is no better teacher than experience, and this is a Lent I won't forget.

Please pray for health for mother and son, strength for the ordeal, and that God's will be done.

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