Update

My son is doing fairly well. He put on 2 ounces (about 60 grams) in the past 24 hours. This doesn't sound like much, but it is a lot to us. He is on a ventilator now, but it is allowing him to rest and get stronger. He also processed 4 cc's of really basic formula via the stomach (and feeding tube) in 6 hours, another promising development. His color and general vitals are good. Praise God for that.

My daughter went to see him for the second time today. She skipped the way down and was eager to see him. But in the NICU, she was quite serious. A 5 year old has many interesting insights, and she understands this is a serious thing. But she is glad to go. Sometimes, the children give more help to their parents than they sometimes realize.

In keeping with my responsibilities as a father, we are going to have the baptism tomorrow in the NICU. This is a precaution in case things move worse, however this is not an indication of his current trend, just the fulfillment of that portion of my christian duty. We will hold a special service once he is out of the NICU in remembrance of his baptism (I don't think that's the right phrase, but its close enough). +SDG+

Strength in Weakness

God provides for all of our needs, in ways we don't, and can't, understand sometimes. Sometimes the situation is out of our control, and we only have Him to lean on. This is a true test of faith. This is particularly true of decisions involving children, especially the unborn. This morning I had to take my wife to the hospital at 28 weeks gestation due to preterm labor. As a result, we had to have an emergency c-section to deliver the baby for the good of both mother and child. This is very nerve-wracking and places us with the many unknowns and possible outcomes. In the old days, even as soon as a hundred years ago, this would have been a death knell for at least the child. While our technology is a marvel, and the statistics are good, being that early is always very concerning. It will be at least 72 hours for the immediate "out of the woods", 6 weeks before he can come home, and at least a year of monitoring him to ensure he is healthy. There will be likely repercussions throughout his life.

Because of the weight of these decisions, and the outcome being entirely out of my hands, I was, for all intensive purposes, weak in flesh and mind. There was nothing I could do, and I was helpless. So I prayed. Hard. I learned that to truly pray "not my will but thine be done" is one of the most final, hard things one can do. The sensation to me was similar to the crack of the rifles at a veteran's funeral- complete inability to effect a change, and the total reliance on God. This is the core of faith. This was a situation that takes you beyond your limits, to effect the good of God. Christ's prayers on Gethsemane ran through my mind as I prayed. There is no better teacher than experience, and this is a Lent I won't forget.

Please pray for health for mother and son, strength for the ordeal, and that God's will be done.
+SDG+

Addendum...

In a rare event, I have posted twice in one night! I just read Pastor Esget's Ash Wednesday's sermon. It is excellent and places the proper emphasis where it belongs. I am always in awe of Pastor Esget's ability to tease out the key aspects and provide them so clearly within the confines of a sermon...

And yes, I am headed to bed... ;-)

Sickness and Lent

There isn't an intended link between the two, even though sin can be considered a mortal sickness that is 100% transmittable. My family is on the tail end of a round of sickness, and I hope we will be able to avoid the stomach bug which is going around. Please wash hands and get plenty of sleep! (As I write this I am thinking of the coughing and nose blowing I have done for the past two weeks... ugh!)

It is also Lent, a time for remembering our sin and God's sacrifice to atone. Human nature is corrupt and sinful. Only through the mercy of God do we have any hope at all. We should discipline ourselves to not only be aware of this fact daily, but also to seek forgiveness and the strength to resist the temptations. Thank God He had a plan of restoration!

One other note for those who might not have seen it- the LC-MS has dropped the suit on the Issues Etc trademark. John the Steadfast has a couple posts- one on the LC-MS, and one on the legalese behind it. This encapsulates one of the reasons I left the LC-MS. The corporate body of the LC-MS acts as if its only interest is in the "brand" and not the Life-Giving Word of God. I cannot abide such hypocrisy in the Church. It sullies the teaching of the children, provides a disgrace to Christendom, and adds fodder to the humanists and non-believers. I am eternally grateful that God can make good things happen out of bad. I will get off my soapbox, and head to bed for the rest I need to get over this illness.